Within the empty -
by SatansLittleStick
Summary: little empty!Cas story
1. prologue

"There where the darkness swallows all, so vast and beautiful. There lays nothing, nothing at all. "

My eyes, closed blissfully as tranquility washes over my body, or so it would seem.

I don't know how long I had been, awake but not fully conscious. A slow simmering familiarity, keeping me still and begging my mind to give in. The same peace I had felt within heaven, the light within the healing towers, being submerged in the water, and for a moment, I was transported. The pain and strain on the mortal vessel I accompanied, virtually gone and in that moment all worry had slipped away.. That was until it hadn't..

Thoughts began to circle, some coherent and some dimmed but one thought had remained. Why was I here?

I had not left on good terms, not to mention it not being very civil. Why would I be brought back, why in the healing chamber, that seemed rather uncharacteristic... It could have been Chuck that had returned.. But why would he waste his breath on a lowly angel, like me. It didn't make sense, every route my mind took came up empty until I decided to open my eyes and came to the realization.. They had been open all along.

I could feel myself panic, as if I was an outsider, watching myself.

It was dark, that was evident, but I could see myself, my body clearly and for a moment, I wondered why I hadn't realized this a while ago.

And then came the questions. Where was I, why was I here, was this the end, where was earth, heaven, hell, why was I here, what was here...

There is a significant pull within, the moment you realize you are alone. The moment you see nothing, feel nothing but yourself, only you. It's frightening to say the least, devastating..

What do you do when there is nothing but empty?


	2. 01 Swallowed by darkness

"Everything was dark, but it was bliss."

My eyes flashed to my surroundings, but there was nothing.. This couldn't be, there has to be something, a sign.. Something but as I would soon realize, there was nothing, nothing I could see or feel.

My hands shot down, to push me up. There has to be a floor right, I am sitting, so logic would establish there had to be floor, and if there was a floor, there was hope. My hands slithered into the darkness, feeling nothing, it was as if the air grew more dense but I could feel nothing solid and that made me apprehensive to say the least.

Nonetheless, I tried to stand, using the only other way I know how. My wings flapped a few times but it seemed they wouldn't grab hold of the air around them to lift me but that was due to the fact there was no air, only nothing.

I flopped over, desperate for some solidity. On my hands and knees, afraid to move, afraid to be swallowed by the blackness.

After what seemed like an eternity, I cautiously began to search for a standing position which seemed to be going well due to the fact that I had yet to be swallowed by the darkness I found surrounding my feet.

"Hello?" I called, like some horror movie victim that was about to get slaughtered. I knew in my heart that it was trivial, the mere fact that I could only see black was my first clue. My words seemed to get swallowed in the void as well, no echo. Just me and the darkness, forever it would seem.

My legs started to walk, not entirely by themselves. They wobbled at the insecurity the vast below my feet provided, after a while they grew accustomed to the new gravity like substance and I could walk without falling over but what was the use.. I was walking to nowhere, there was nothing and within this darkness, I could be going in circles for all I know, on a cosmic treadmill that left everything to the imagination. I felt weak, tired even which was odd to my being, perhaps I should rest a bit I thought..

That was, until the moment. The moment where I was elated at the familiarity even when I couldn't feel the being I thought to be within.

"Castiel." I smiled and embraced him, a human ritual I had grew to enjoy.

His body stood stiff, not a movement unlike Castiel, which even when he did not hug back, his movements were unsure but never statue like.

"No no no, I'm afraid you have it wrong." The voice came, a foreign feeling running over my skin. He didn't sound like Castiel.. The voice, unlike anything I'd ever heard. My body tensed as I stood back.

A smile Sat on his face which wasn't like Castiel's, I couldn't place whether it was a smile that splayed disgust, annoyance or because he gained something new to play with perhaps.

"Who are you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even as the warrior angel in me kicked in.

"Oh, I'm just your friendly neighborhood cosmic entity." He responded, a grin appeared on his lips.

My eyes narrowed, what could he possibly mean by that. I couldn't feel what he was, I couldn't feel anything.. It just felt.. Empty, like a void was stored where I used to pick up what powers surrounded me.

"Why do you look like Castiel?"

"Oh, yes. The angel of the Lord." He spoke, he seemed annoyed at the question as he closed the trenchcoat a bit. "I came in which would have you least on edge or perhaps you'd prefer this" he motioned with his hand and he changed to the splitting image of Lucifer. "Or this." He motioned again and turned into Sam Winchester. "Or." He motioned and again changed to Hannah, Balthazar, Zelot.

"Stop." I choked out, surprising myself at my own voice.

In an instant he changed back to Castiel, he wore the same smile he had since we spoke but seemed pleased with himself.

"if I were to appear in my real form, you'd freak out, rip out your own eyes.. And well, that would be embarrassing.. For both of us." He stated as it was a matter of fact, which seemed unlikely. I used to be an angel of the Lord, a warrior. I bet I've seen enough not to get scared by.. This guy.

I took a step back, subconsciously wanting to get some distance between us. "Okay.. Where am I?" I asked, apprehensive to the answer. Please don't be the end.

"This.." He motioned to the void around us. A grin grew on his lips, and I swear if I hadn't known better I would've said he looked proud at this very moment. "Welcome to the empty."


	3. 02 Where do I end and where do I begin

"The words were dark but they kept on, craving an answer."

"The empty?" I repeated incredulously. "Where exactly is 'the empty'". I emphasized the word, who gave it that name anyway, it didn't exactly give me a clue to were I was.. Unbeknownst to me that it told me everything I needed to know.

He just looked at me for a moment, probably wondered why he had to explain such things to a lesser being, but nonetheless he took a breath and spoke in a voice that was so disconcerting coming out of Castiel's mouth.

"It is neither here nor there, its not a place.. The empty is all around.. The place you now can call 'home'. Simply put, It where you go when you die, angels..demons. All of you come here. "

I huffed, I wasn't buying what he was trying to sell.. It was insane on a cosmic level. There was no place for angels after their task.. They just.. Wither.. And die.. We had no soul, we had no place. We were merely soldiers made for a cause.

Another thought also whispered into my mind, I couldn't be dead... Could I?

I could barely pull together my thoughts, my memories lay scattered.. Times in motel rooms.. Fights.. Music.. Monsters.. Everything was a puzzle and I can't pick which part had come last and which ones were first, everything was on one straight timeline that I couldn't distinguish.

"I'm not dead." I responded, staring into the darkness below me.

"Indeed you are, my dear." He responded promptly. "Have been for quite some time actually. Which does beg the question" he clenched his teeth, a forced smile glued to his lips. "Why are you awake?" His voice rose ever so slightly with every word and yet with every word it felt like a slap across the face.

"I.. " I stared at him, his previous words still needing to settle, and neither could have given him an answer to his question.

I am dead, what was left after death... This black hole that I had to stare off into for the rest of eternity, how is that right.. After everything.. I would surely go insane.

"I can't be dead." I almost whispered.

He gave an exasperated sigh. "You're just like him you know.. Refuse to believe you're dead. refuse to accept your new place in life. Let me guess.. You want me to send you back just like him, right?"

My eyes snapped up to the form of Castiel, his eyes weren't their usual striking azure but yet they had a dark glimmer to them. "You can do that?" I asked, a slight starting to simmer.

He looked explicitly bored with this whole conversation and like he debated killing me.. Again, apparently. "Of course I can. I am the empty after all.. But.. I won't."

"Why not?" I asked a little forcibly. Giving me the hope of escape and pulling it away.. It reminded me of Lucifer.. At least I knew how to converse with that idjit, I was beginning to feel the anger push up, why wouldn't he let me go. What could I possibly give him that he could want?

"Because I let you go.. Another awakes." He took a menacing step forward, tilting his head slightly but not in the angelic way that I used to see it on Castiel. "We.. We're going to find out why you are awake and then.. Well.. We are going to crush it."

A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, a crazy look falling from his eyes as he gently put his palm against my forehead even though what followed was so far from gentle...


	4. 03 a Memory

"You are nothing if not hopeful."

One moment I'm looking up at the crazed expression splayed on the facade of Castiel and the next moment I'm in a motel room, familiar it seemed, but then again they all did have the same ambience about them.

I glanced around, a soft breeze blew through the room and I was placed on the bed...

Perhaps he did decide to let me go, my mind argued, I didn't exactly have anything of use to him.. I have no idea what could be of use to a being like that, but I'm pretty sure its not me.

A dull ache reverberated in my skull, causing a frown to form on my forehead as I took a seating position, not really knowing why I did that and then everything came crashing down around me, a memory playing out in front of me with me as the main character, knowing what will happen mere seconds before it did while an excruciating pain snapped against my skull, the image kept flashing between the entity with Castiel's hand still laced on my forehead and the memory.

I didn't know what the memory was until it happened but I knew it wasn't good, I could feel the fear, my whole body stuck in the motions while I was constantly being snapped back to the empty where I was screaming on my knees but even that version of me, I couldn't control.

I was standing in the middle of the room when it happened, the blood of my vessel stained to walls in symbols and they still found me, who they were, I was unsure. Some looked familiar while others I could summon a name.

"Naomi." My lips moved in sync with the memory.

I could barely comprehend the words from her lips as I was snapped back to the empty, my vision seemed faded as I looked up at the image of Castiel.

"Stop fighting it." I heard but I'm unsure if it was the entity or the woman named Naomi who said it as I found myself back in the room, still sporting the killer headache.

"I could never." My lips moved again.

Four be is stood before me, three with angel blades and that's when I knew, within three seconds, I would be dead.. Or more accurately.. Dying.. It took a little longer than that for my body to finally give out.

The blade penetrating my being suddenly felt more painful than I remember, though I just remembered it 5 seconds ago. My head also felt like it was about to explode until it didn't anymore, the image faded.. Taking me to the calming darkness of the empty.

I was breathing heavy though I didn't exactly need to breath at all and logic stands to reason that my vessel should have died as well.

I blinked a few times, the pain in my head had slowed to a dull throb. I notice I'm in a laying position, with the entity looking down at me. His eyes were narrowed as Castiel's finger tapped rhythmically against his lips.

I wanted to say something, but what could I say? Thanks for making me relive my death, thanks for trying to kill me with a headache? No, instead I just stared into those familiar blue eyes that held no relation to Castiel's.

"Interesting." He muttered, walking around my body, his eyes not leaving mine.

Finally, I decided to open my mouth after a few moments of silence. "What is?"

"Hope." He said and stopped abruptly. "There's nothing there." He stated with the clench of his jaw. "You shouldn't be awake." His voice rose again as he spoke. "I don't understand, nothing has power here, except me."

Suddenly he crouched down and stared intensely into my eyes, making me want to back away but instead I dared not move.

"How are you doing this, mhmm?" He asked, with a poke to my forehead. "What do you stand to gain?"

I abruptly moved away from him, taking a standing position, the ache in my head seemed to have lifted as well. "I don't know what you're talking about." I stated, more confidently than I felt. "Why does me being awake bother you anyway, you could just go.. Do whatever it is you do without me."

His jaw clenched as he spoke. "You are awake. Which means I am awake and I very much like sleep, I need sleep."

"Then send me back?" I said, not really sure if I want to go back to all the pain and suffering but what else should I do, I could just stay awake in the empty with this entity growing more and more frustrated with every passing second.

"That's not what you want." He stated simply. "But even so, you go.. How do I know another won't awaken. And another.. Another. That would throw of the balance of things, then I would not be able to sleep anyway. No. You are staying until I find a way to make you sleep."


End file.
